The Courage to Change the Things you Can
This is a significant birthday year for me, and as we approach Passover, Easter, and Spring, all symbols of new beginnings and change, I feel compelled more than ever to be really comfortable with me. For if not now, when? Many times that means change. Change really scared me when I was younger. I stayed much too long in toxic relationships, rationalizing, compromising tolerating, because I was too scared of change. The older and more wiser I get, I’ve listen to God’s whispers, as Ms. Oprah very aptly puts it. If my stomach is churning and I am feeling stressed, I know that it is time to change, and I have to be bold enough to embrace it and let the fear of the unknown step aside, and boldly take the steps to make my life comfortable. It’s not an easy task but I as I do my homework and look at other choices, the process becomes more palatable.
One thing I know, change is a constant. So what tools do I need to do it? Two ingredients lessens the fear, trust in the Universe, and confidence in myself; to know that whatever happens, happens for a reason, and to go with it and accept it, not fight it or try to keep something that no longer works or is broken. To accept there is a lesson that I have to learn and to know on a deep level that there are blessings with all lessons.
I can make the changes with love. It doesn’t have to be harsh or nasty. I don’t need to try again and try again expecting a different result until it gets nasty. I need to be brutually honest and forgiving with myself so that resentment, anger, angst, are replaced with acceptance and compassion.
Four years ago this August 17th, my world was rocked with the sudden death of my great companion and friend, Harold Koenig. I was forced to halt, listen to what God wanted for me, and trust that when “God closes a door, He opens a window”. I needed to find that window, I had to embrace that change. I had to go to the Light, or if not, the fear would enter, and freeze me, where I was stopped.
When I make the changes, the result is that I get to play really “big”, because we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I want to keep getting stronger. That means constantly evaluating and building a core of people around me that nurture me, prize me, respect me, inspire me, so that I could aspire to reach higher and higher in all aspects of my life.
What I know for sure is that we all want the same things, a fulfilled life, and to be completely authentic in everything we are and do. We want to find ourselves vibrating on the highest level possible, making a difference in the world, be it being a great mother, teacher, gardener. So when we leave this world, our aura shines bright, the brightest possible, and we are all spent.