The Way It Is
We are all dealt a certain hand in this life. Can’t really question it, can’t really change it, it is “the way it is”. So we have choices. We can moan and groan and feel sorry for ourselves or take that hand and work it. What happens is usually amazing. Not easy to do, but what truly meaningful task isn’t.
I had a dream that I would finally have relationships with my two sisters. We were three sisters born in Brooklyn, New York to parents that had “issues”, as Jo, my beautiful daughter, would put it. Now those “issues” are generational. They are” passed forward” because no one stops to address them. There was no therapy in those days. You simply drank over it, ate over it, denied it, and like a cancer, it grew and grew and spread to their children and their children’s children.
So at an early age, I had this intention. I wanted more, I wanted different, I wanted better. Inch, by inch, I shed the past scars, found compassion for my parents, forgave them, not for them, but for me. Because without that, I knew I could not “go forward”. I left a lot of grief there, but that’s O. K. The thread can start again with a deeper understanding, new insights, new attitudes, a renewal that built from a different fabric.
So with prayer and meditation, I released those two sisters and adopted new ones. Miraculously, here I am, years after my parents’ passing, having a new relationship with both sisters. One, with limited mobility and health challenges, took a train to be with me to help celebrate my special birthday last year. This year, the younger one came from Texas by herself, the first time flying since separated from her husband of many years.
Both of them finally shedding their hurts, their resentments, their disappointments, and recognizing that underneath all that, is love. It is the enduring factor. It is all that matters. And so it softens the pattern a bit for the next generation and a life filled with a new purpose appears. Because that is what is about, this life right now, and what we do with “what is”.